“Oh my God...is that.......Lazarus? It is, it IS Lazarus!”
“I thought he was dead.”
“He was dead, for at least 2 or 3 years, but someone brought him back to life.”
“That’s not natural, man. Just look at him; He can barely walk, he’s nothing but skin and bones, and he looks like he’s in a lot of pain.”
“Oooh...he stinks, too! I can smell him all the way from here!”
“Yeah, whoever brought him back didn’t do him any favor. All his friends have either died, moved out of town, or just moved on to bigger and better things. And they hang out with a whole different crowd now, too. Even his wife got remarried, and to a much younger dude! Who’s gonna hang out with that shriveled up, sad looking boney cripple who smells like ass in August?”
“Not me, man. In fact, I have a date tonight with Lazarus’ hot, nubile cousin iFFmpeg!”
“Yeah, I’d like to git me some of that!”
“When I’m done with her, you can — she even costs $5 less than Lazarus does despite his sorry state, and she’s got more chops in her young ass than Lazarus ever did, even in his prime.”
“Jeez, that ain’t right. When something’s dead, it should stay dead.”
“Word."